Friday, January 7, 2011

A Most Difficult Day

Wendi took Cash this morning (with amazing help from Laura and Julie) to Children's for his 2 month MRI check up.  The last MRI left us feeling pretty good with how things were progressing but our expectations for the MRI's are always mixed.

The news from today's MRI is not good.  The main tumor has basically doubled in size and is protruding into other parts around the stem.  In addition, there are numerous spots on his lower spine.  The strangest part is that he still looks really good, with the exception of his right eye - over the past few days we've seen him struggle to open it fully and now that we've seen the scans we know why.  There is a lot of extra fluid that is not flowing to the appropriate parts of his brain, putting pressure on different areas, one being the optic nerves.

We have decided not to pursue any further treatment as the low-dose chemo seems to have lost it's ability to affect change (positively).  The hospital is connecting us with hospice care in the event that Cash will need assistance as the tumor continues to grow.  There are a few experimental treatments we can try but there is no guarantee that they will even help and will most likely make him sicker so we're opting not to investigate them any further.

I don't think the news could get any worse, and then Joanne gave me a verse that was on her heart this morning - Psalm 91:11 - "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways."  We are deeply saddened by the MRI results and at the same time at peace.  That peace we feel is from the Holy Spirit, which is referred to in the Bible as the Comforter (or Helper) (John16:7).  We are thankful to God for a great year with Cash and will continue to hold out hope.

The amazing thing is that Cash is amazingly strong.  Aside from being tired, with his hair growing back (and it's getting long) and talking/laughing/showing his teeth - you would not know he has a huge mass in is brain.  He is a fighter and he is as courageous as his good friend Christopher, who fought the same battle.

We continue to ask for your prayers during this extremely difficult time and pray that God will keep Cash close to Him and as free from pain as possible.  I think it would be too much to bear to see that little guy in pain and we're hoping his symptoms continue to stay relatively minor.  Thank you for your prayers - our prayers tonight are not only for Cash, but Jensen and Charlie Middlebrook.  Jensen's family received some difficult news this week and Charlie had a stroke a few days ago.  May God grant them peace, strength, and healing.


  1. I'm so sorry to read this. I've been following the story & had hoped for better news. Prayers will continue ... miracles can happen.
    -A follwer in Lynden

  2. We heard about this earlier today...we are praying for peace, strength & love as you go down this path God has chosen whatever the outcome. It just doesn't seem fair that little angels like Cash, Jensen & Charlie should have to deal with this especially so young. Regardless God has a plan for everything...blessings!!

  3. Oh dear friends, I'm so incredibly sorry to read this news. I hate cancer. I hate that so many of these precious children have to deal with this burden. I'm grieving for you right now, and praying that you will be comforted. Lots of love to you tonight.

  4. My heart is broken. I was so optimistic this morning when I was praying for you. I will continue to cover all of you in prayer. May God bless you with a peace and comfort that passes all understanding. Love Renae & family

  5. Words can't express how sad this news is for all who care about Cash and his fight. I am so sorry, and I will keep praying for you all.

  6. I am speechless and sad. I didn't expect this news as I know you were'nt either. My prayers are with you and all of your family.
    Love Shirley

  7. Jack & Wendi,
    Mere words seem to seem trivial right now. My heart is heavy with this news. I was so hoping as I am sure were everyone else for a good MRI.
    Cancer just plain sucks, it is ugly. It does not care if you are young or old, rich, just doesn't care! I wish this was better news and I want you to know we are here for you and your whole family. We will draw near to you, praying for you all tonight.
    Will you let your Mom know if there is anything I can do personally to help...((hugs))

  8. I have been following your blog for some time now and have been "hoping" and praying for a miracle for your precious son, Cash. My heart breaks to hear the news you have received today. Praying that God will be your strength and comfort today, tomorrow and into the unknown future. May He grant you peace as you walk this difficult path.

  9. I've been following your blog since the beginning (I'm friends with the Van Liew's) and my heart is sad at reading the news you received. You are all in my thoughts and I wish you much peace and comfort.


  10. we continue to pray for you all...
    and may I encourage all the "followers" and readers of this blog to "post a comment" here and commit to praying for sweet little Cash and his family. We have pictures of Cash on our fridge and in the kids' rooms to remind us to pray. My daughter wants to take a picture of him to her class on Monday and ask her teacher and classmates to pray.
    We love you Cash and we are praying for you every day!!

  11. I’m a friend of one of your friends (Corey Hage) who told me about your story. I’m sm praying for you all as you walk down a difficult path here. Know that there are people everywhere praying for you and on your behalf.

  12. Jack, Wendi, Jack Jr, Cash and Kingston,
    Oh, my heart feels so heavy for you...through my tears I sense the presence of God, the Holy Spirit, on and in your lives. Your testimonies have been amazing through all of this and God not only has a perfect plan for Cash, but a perfect plan for all of you. You are 'good and faithful servants' of Jesus Christ. We continue to pray for you for peace, hope, and comfort. Leanne, Jim, Jack and Sam

  13. couldn't sleep so I got up and came on here but when I read about Cash tears filled my heart. I am so sorry to hear this news We have been praying for him and the family and will continue to pray. May God comfort you all and hold his precious Cash in his hands always.. Love you all..your cousin,Eva & family..

  14. Hearing this news through our dear friend (Joanne) and remembering all that God has done;
    I am believing for God's perfect peace for you.
    The journey that you have been on is unique to you, though some of us can have true empathy as well, Cash is your precious child; and only you and the Lord can fathom what this unexpected road that you have been on as a mother, father and family. From those of us who have been on the inside of the cancer journey, with a child it is a time of deep awareness of God's gift to allow (as a parent) to be their guardians, and a new awareness that your child is a gift from God in every sense of the word. Little victories become bigger than life... because life will never be taken for granted. Your faith is beautiful and your testimony of God's faithfulness is so evident! What an honor to stand in the gap for you, and pray for God's best for this precious child and for your beautiful family. One of the many touchstones I can share is from my own daughter, who spoke this great truth as she was going through chemo the first time and facing certain difficulties:
    My body is temporary. My soul is eternal.
    Jesus didn't die to give life to my body, He died for my soul. Isn't that good!
    Our hearts are with you and you are remembered and prayed for much. Your testimony has been stellar throughout this, and whatever the Lord's final say is, just know that you have made a difference by how you have chosen to respond. We are only looking from the outside, as observers, and although we probably will never meet, you have touched so many lives through this~ and we are with you and for you.
    Although we cannot understand why, it cannot and does not change all the beautiful ways that you have and continue to use this challenge to bring others to a deeper understanding of God's love and joy, and peace.. that goes beyond what is humanly fathomable. We are with you! And we are just 2 people praying... midst the thousands that have been praying... God comfort and guide you dear ones. Thank You for allowing us to weap with you and also to rejoice. You are amazing people, who are reminding us of our amazing God. This verse is evident in your lives
    "But this special treasure~ this light and power that now shines within us is held in perishable containers, (that is in our weak bodies). So that everyone can see that our glorious power is from God, and not our own." IICorinthians 4:7
    Comfort & Joy in Christ~
    Deborah & Peter (Kent, WA)

  15. Dearest Wendi and Jack,

    Tears are rolling down my face as I read this latest news. I will continue to pray for comfort and strength for Cash and that you and your family will feel God's loving presence in your midst.

    I am so glad that you and your family had those glorious golden days together in Hawaii and that you have focused on making every day count. You guys are amazing. Let me know if I can do anything to help.

    Love, Liz (Tennant)

  16. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to write the words you write yet you do so every time to let all of us know how you are doing. My children and I stand in agreement with you on your son for all of his needs and the needs of your family. May God keep his army of angels your son's side. Cash gives me strength as do you and Wendi and reminds me to really focus on what really matters in life - God and my family. We love you guys so much - Michael, KathLene and RoxAnn

  17. Don't even know you...but have followed your journey of faith. I can't begin to express the sadness of it all. Oh I pray for the presence of the Almighty in every tear and every silent moment.

  18. Jack and Wendi, this is the news we have all hoped not to hear! We are all praying for Cash and he is always in our thoughts! Stay strong and continue to treasure every moment. The pictures are beautiful keep taking them and posting them! We all love you guys...
    your cousin, Chris

  19. You & your whole family are daily in our prayers.......

  20. I enjoyed our long overdue chat Thursday night, Wendi and my offers still stand.
    We stand beside you guys, in prayer and friendship and love. That is all we can offer right now and I wish it could be more.

  21. I have followed your blog and you and your family are an inspiration. I was so sorry to hear the lastest news of your precious son. I believe God your Heavenly Father weeps with you today just as your earthly father would. As I have followed your blog it is very apparent that you have put your precious son in God's hands with enormous faith, God must be so pleased with you and your family. May He grant you perfect peace that can only come from Our heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
    Today I was reading a devotional that says "Let your weakness be a door to My Presence. Hope is like a golden cord connecting you to heaven. The more you cling to this cord, the more I bear the weight of your burdens;thus,you are lightened. Heaviness is not of My Kingdom. Cling to hope, and My rays of Light will reach you through the darkness."

  22. Our dear friends. We love you so much.

  23. Going to battle for you in prayer.

  24. There are no words to offer comfort, but know that Cash and your family are in our prayers!
    May God uphold & bless you all.
    Trish and Dave Anker and kids

  25. Dear Jack & Wendi, as I continue to lobby for the unborn children in this great country, I so give thanks for your beautiful testimony and family that God gave you. You have truly shown what a gift a child really is. The love you have shared and treasured is beyond our wildest dreams. I lost my dad to multiple brain tumors, and the miracle for me was that he only had pain for the very last day....His journey was very long, but to our amazement, he had little pain. I will continue to pray for strength to continue this road....with all it's curves and turns.....

  26. There are no words to describe, what my mind is scrambling through, but how could this happen to such a sweet little child , like Cash....? My thoughts & prayers are with Cash and your family......I will be thinking of him every day :):)

    Lots of Love,

    Stephanie :):)

  27. Praying on Jeremiah 29:11 and thinking about what an impact Cash has had on so many people throughout his young life. Reading what you wrote about his continued strength and smiles in the wake of these new results just make me amazed at what a vessel this special little boy has been of God's love and strength. Wow. I don't know your family personally, but I'm praying for, hoping with, and loving you all.
    -Your Sister in Christ

  28. Cash may only be a little boy . . . but his life and testimony (through you) has reached and touched thousands! Thank you so much for sharing your love of Cash and your undying faith with all of us. My heart has been touched beyond belief! May our Heavenly Father keep you all wrapped in His tender loving care as you continue this journey. Your entire family is in our thoughts and daily prayers.
    Cash . . . you are my hero! And sweet boy . . . you have been a little missionary to many as God has used your story to show many many people what true faith is all about!
    Jack & Saralee Lathrop

  29. My heart aches for you.....praying for a miracle.

  30. My heart is broken. I am so saddened to read this news.

    I wish I had words, but I am left stunned and speechless after such hope from the last MRI.

    If there is anything I can do, Wendi, please don't hesitate to ask! I have much more time on my hands these days and am here any time. ***hugs and love***

  31. Josh has had a picture of Cash on his cell phone since the walk. Josh sees his precious face everyday. All of you are always in our prayers. Diana and Joshua Dickerson

  32. I am praying for God to give you continued strength and peace through this difficult journey. You are amazing parents! I pray for your precious Cash often and will continue to do so diligently. Only our dear Lord can foresee the future and glory be to Him!

  33. Jack and Wendi... We are so sorry to hear this heartbreaking news. We are asking God to surround Cash and your family with love, and to bless you with peace and strength. We will still continue to pray for a miracle for sweet Cash.

  34. “God whispers in our pleasures, but shouts in our pain.” C.S. Lewis

  35. We are praying for you and for your comfort! My babies are faithfully praying for your baby every night! I show them pictures so that they know who they are praying for you. We will now pray for a miracle! The Lord does amazing things!

    Michael, Marcy, Zoe and Malachi Kok