It was one year ago today that Wendi and I drove Cash to Children's for the first time. I re-read the original post from that week (http://acashofhope.blogspot.com/2010/02/journey-of-hope-begins.html) and it brought back a flood of memories. It is still do surreal that Cash is no longer with us - I distinctly remember being happy as we drove to Children's to get a prescription for physical therapy to fix his crooked neck (or so we thought). When we look back on the past year, it's almost impossible to take it all in and absorb everything that Cash went through. I have a feeling it will take many more months to fully realize how significant the past year was in helping shape and deepen our faith, trust, and love for God.
I Facebooked on January 11 (after the MRI) that, "...Cash would tell us not to be sad, but to rejoice and be thankful." We miss Cash more than anything I could have imagined, but we don't miss cancer. Since we were unable to separate Cash and Cancer, we rejoice that he's in heaven and free from cancer. It's difficult to put into words and attach the appropriate emotion to the last sentence but we are thankful he is free from cancer and know we'll be reuinited again.
Jack Jr. asks when he'll get to see Cash again and we tell him, "When it's your turn God will call you to heaven." He can't wait for his turn...:-)
Thank you all again for your cards, support, and prayers - each day I go pick up the mail and there's 25 more sympathy cards - I have to think we've received well over 500 cards the past two weeks. Each card carries a unique message of encouragement and we are very thankful for the love and support you've shown us this past year.
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It makes my heart ache looking back over those first few blog posts and I remember so clearly that week. I have pictures of Cash playing just two or three days before his diagnoses and as I look at them I can see that strong spirit in his eyes, he was prepared beyond what we can believe for the year that he faced. I can never thank you enough for letting me be a part of your family's life this year, I will never be the same because of the joys and sorrows I shared with you, Wendi, Jack, Cash and Kingston. I have to remind myself constantly that he's no longer with us but happy and healthy in heaven. I can't go a day (heck I can barely go an hour) without being reminded of him by a song, picture, toy or memory. Your family is always in my prayers and I hope to see you all soon.
ReplyDeleteI have kept the picture of Cash on my refridgerator as a reminder to pray for your family.I pray especially for Jack Jr. I am sure he misses Cash so much. I pray God will fill the hole in your heart and let all of you feel His presence. I wish there was some way to help all of you.
ReplyDeletePraying, praying, and praying some more.
ReplyDeleteOur hearts break for your loss, cling to Christ and His precious promises, that He will never leave you, nor forsake you! He knows your needs and is always by your side.
I just want to say thank you for continuing to share your thoughts and feeling with us. I know you miss your baby boy beyond any words possible. I think and pray for you all daily. Your life is such an example of how God's love and mercy can carry us through anything. Your faith is inspirational and I am truly blessed every time I read a new post. God bless!
ReplyDeleteWe're praying every day for your family, too, especially for Jack Jr. We're asking God to fill Cash's now-empty place in your home with an abundance of his love.
ReplyDeleteWe too keep Cash with us everyday -- on the fridge and in our car. His spirit is so strong through life, love and laughter and most of all innocence. His smile and precious hand is infectious. I keep the picture of his hand in the M&Ms on my wall at my desk -- always to remember the simple things are the most important. Please keep us posted on whatever you need Jack -- we love you much!!! Michael, Kat and RoxAnn.
ReplyDeleteWe remember vividly the day we heard Cash had a brain tumor. Our hearts ached for your family and we prayed so hard along with so many others for a miracle. It is so hard to understand God's ways and why he heals some and not others.
ReplyDeleteWe continue to pray for your whole family and think of you daily.
Love,
Ryan and Sara Brink
Prayers from Minnesota!
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