Re-Adjusting

It's been quite a while since I've blogged - there is such a large gap in our family without Cash that some days it still doesn't seem real.  We learned quickly after Cash was diagnosed to take it one day at a time and that still holds very true.  We are often asked how we are doing and my answer is always the same, God is continuing to keep us close to Him and give us the strength we need.

The past few months have brought so many changes - moving, new job, Cash's homegoing - there is a lot to adjust to.  That being said, we are thankful to God for taking Cash's diagnosis to bring us up to Lynden, the love and support we feel has been amazing.  Cash changed our lives in a big way...:-)

Wendi pulled out her camera this past weekend and took a few pictures of the boys - it's the first 'photoshoot' without Cash and it's fitting that Jack Jr is so serious.  Cash loved it when I played the guitar and I hope that Jack will pick up Cash's love of the guitar.  I think if he could play he'd play a great blues song...

We continue to receive cards, letters, and uplifting comments - Wendi and I are thankful for texts that I get nearly every day - just short check-ins to see how we are doing and scripture to remind us that God loves us.  God does love us and while we miss Cash we know he's cancer-free and in the arms of Jesus and that is a beautiful and wonderful gift.

A Year Ago Today

It was one year ago today that Wendi and I drove Cash to Children's for the first time.  I re-read the original post from that week (http://acashofhope.blogspot.com/2010/02/journey-of-hope-begins.html) and it brought back a flood of memories.  It is still do surreal that Cash is no longer with us - I distinctly remember being happy as we drove to Children's to get a prescription for physical therapy to fix his crooked neck (or so we thought).  When we look back on the past year, it's almost impossible to take it all in and absorb everything that Cash went through.  I have a feeling it will take many more months to fully realize how significant the past year was in helping shape and deepen our faith, trust, and love for God.

I Facebooked on January 11 (after the MRI) that, "...Cash would tell us not to be sad, but to rejoice and be thankful."  We miss Cash more than anything I could have imagined, but we don't miss cancer.  Since we were unable to separate Cash and Cancer, we rejoice that he's in heaven and free from cancer.  It's difficult to put into words and attach the appropriate emotion to the last sentence but we are thankful he is free from cancer and know we'll be reuinited again. 

Jack Jr. asks when he'll get to see Cash again and we tell him, "When it's your turn God will call you to heaven." He can't wait for his turn...:-)

Thank you all again for your cards, support, and prayers - each day I go pick up the mail and there's 25 more sympathy cards - I have to think we've received well over 500 cards the past two weeks.  Each card carries a unique message of encouragement and we are very thankful for the love and support you've shown us this past year.

Memorial Reflections/Downloads

The service on Thursday was a wonderful tribute to Cash.  It celebrated his life and at the same time pointed everything in the direction of our Father.  In our drive from the cemetery to the church, we both commented that we felt a tremendous peace.  I wasn't sure what I would feel after leaving the cemetery and was very thankful to God that we felt His peace.  We received so many cards, flowers, hugs, and words of encouragement it was amazing.  We are very blessed to have such a great family and network of friends.

Even though we have peace, there is a large hole in our family with Cash not being here. We miss him constantly and everything in our house reminds us of his beautiful life.  We ask Jack Jr. every morning what Cash is doing today in heaven and the responses have made us laugh and cry.  The past few days, according to Jack Jr.,  Cash has been salmon fishing, crabbing, shrimping, and surfing (he's been very busy). 

For those who were unable to attend the service, you can view the program that was made (thank you again Laura!) by clicking here (pdf file).  In addition, was able to upload the audio of the memorial service - you can listen to the entire service, sermon, and messages from Bro. Doug and Shauna Senti by clicking here.  Finally, Pastor's Robert's Prayer of Thanksgiving in honor of Cash's life is locate here.

As the days and weeks go by I will continue to blog - God continues to teach us so much about His purpose for our lives.  We continue to be thankful for your prayers - God is good and He received the glory on Thursday and we will continue to thank Him and give Him the praise, even though this has been a challenging season.  Have a blessed weekend!