The Headstone Arrives

Earlier this week we got a call from Gillie's and we were told Cash's headstone would be installed today.  Quietly we waited for the last few days to by and today we hurried over to the cemetery after work.  I immediately could see his picture when we pulled into the drive...It was a somber occasion, both Wendi and I were caught in a sea of memories while the two boys played quietly.  Jeremy and his family stopped by as well.  We're very thankful it has been completed and it will be a lasting, visual reminder of Cash and his beautiful face and on the back of the headstone is a picture of the three boys' hands.  Below are the pictures...

4 Weeks to Go

The Seattle Run of Hope is a little over 4 weeks away (September 25).  There are two additional teams this year with friends wh are also looking for a cure to pediatric brain tumors.  Christopher's parents, Judy & Allen have a team as well as Rob & Bre Ann (Reese).  Reese is currently at Children's and they will be starting the third round of chemo this week.  God has protected little Reese and we saw them at church today and continue to pray each day for Reese's healing.

Ok back to the Seattle Run of Hope - currently there are 11 registered for the Cash of Hope team.  If you are able to make a day of it, please register and join us at Seward Park in Seattle - you can register for Cash's team at http://www.firstgiving.com/process/teamarea/default.asp?did=0&teamid=143177.

Please continue to pray for Reese and you can follow her progress daily at http://prayingforreese.tumblr.com/ - Thank you!!!

New Prayer Request

This past Sunday at church we were introduced to a family (the Gilfillan's) that is beginning a season much like ours from year and a half ago.  A little over two weeks ago, Rob & Bre Ann (mom & dad) discovered that their 10 month old daughter, Reese, was diagnosed with a medulloblastoma - a brain tumor similar to Cash's (PNET), with the exception being the location.  Medulloblastomas are located just outside of the brain stem in the cerebellum.  Upon discovery, they immediately operated and believe they were able to take all of it out (praise God!).  She has to undergo 6 rounds of chemo to ensure that the cells are completely wiped out.

They moved to Seattle yesterday and will be living at the Ronald McDonald House until treatment is complete.  Reese had her Hickman line put in yesterday and she had her first dosage of chemo today.  Reese has the same doctors as Cash and for Wendi and I and hearing their story obviously brought back a lot of memories.  Memories that were difficult, yet both of us felt incredibly blessed to have been able to spend time with Rob, Bre, Reese, and Jase (4 yr old) at church.

We can speak from experience when we say that they will need your prayers every day - if you live in Seattle and have the ability to bring dinners to the Ronald McDonald House or help in any way please send us an email (jwparriera@gmail.com) and I or Wendi will help coordinate. 

Since hearing their story we haven't stopped praying and I would ask that as much as you prayed and supported Cash, please pray for Reese and the family.  Our heart aches for them and our prayer is that God work a tremendous miracle in Reese's life.  Thank you for your prayers!!!

You can follow Reese's story on their blog - http://prayingforreese.tumblr.com/

Relay Pics

The Relay for Life this past Friday/Saturday was amazing.  The most difficult moments for Wendi and I were during the Survivor's lap and lighting the Luminaria bags.  The survivor's lap wasn't sad per se, but it reminded us how many people have fought and are fighting cancer.  Of course we missed Cash terribly but it was very touching to see so many luminaria bags for him.  Here's a few pictures of the event (Thanks for taking them Jodi!!!).  Thank you to everyone who was there participating!  I hope to see you all there at the next event, the Seattle Children's Run of Hope, I'll post more about that event soon!

Relay Update

The Lynden Relay for Life is this Friday!  We were asked this week if our band (which includes my dad, brother, cousins, and Karl) would play Friday night at the relay and we were honored to accept.  So please plan on coming out, even if you have not registered yet!  You can register as an individual walker by clicking here.

Walk with us to honor and celebrate the lives of everyone who has had (or has) cancer.  Last year we were just returning from Houston after Cash completed proton therapy and missed this event so we're very excited to be a part of it this year.  Here's a list of the activities (taken from their website):


Friday, June 17 - Saturday, June 18

5pm-9pm         Dinner available at various venders
5pm-midnight   Silent Auction Tent is open
6pm                 Opening Ceremonies
6:45pm             Band
TBA                 Face Painting
7:00pm           Kids Free Throw contest
7:30-9:30pm       BINGO
8:00pm                 Mr. Relay For Life contest
10:00pm               Luminaria Ceremony
1:00am                 Volleyball Tournament (teams of 4-6)
2:00am                 Pajama Dance Off
3:00am                 Board Games!!!
4:00am                 Music Trivia Game
6:00-8:00am       Silent Auction Tent is open
6:00-11:00am     Firefighters Breakfast (by donation)
8:00am                 Adult Free Throw Contest
9:00am                 Cupcake Walk
10:00am               Musical Chairs
11:30am               Closing Ceremonies


Thank you in advance if you are able to join us to raise money to continue the fight against cancer and celebrate and honor Cash and all those who are fighting or have fought.  You can email me at jlcpgord@gmail.com if you have any questions.  Thank you!!!

The Relay is Coming

The 2011 Relay for Life in Lynden, WA, is around the corner!  The Relay is June 17 and 18 and they've raised over $80,000 to date!  We are walking this year on my company's team (Cargill) and are walking in honor of Cash, those who are currently battling cancer, and those who are with Cash in heaven.  If you would like to sign up to walk and/or donate, you can visit my page by clicking here: http://main.acsevents.org/goto/acashofhope.

Also, mark your calendars for the 2011 Seattle Run of Hope.  This fundraiser is to raise money for pediatric brain research and all of the money raised go to Seattle Children's Hospital to help them research and find cures for pediatric brain tumors. This year the event will be on Sunday, September 25, at Seward Park (same place as last year).  Mike N set up the team again this year (Thanks Mike) - To JOIN please click here: http://www.firstgiving.com/process/teamarea/default.asp?did=0&teamid=143177.  If you would like to DONATE you can click here: http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/acashofhope. Last year we raised over $5000 and had over 130 participants on our team.  It was an amazing event and this year we are walking in memory of Cash.

Please join us to continue fighting - while not a minute goes by that Wendi and I don't think about Cash, we know that Cash was given to us for a short time to change our lives and we will never forget that and continue to fight for a cure.  Thank you in advance for your help!!!

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

My cousin, Jodi (a Snapsister), recently entered a picture on Pioneer Woman of Jack, Cash, & Kingston.  Due to the fact that I have such a difficult time looking at pictures of Cash, I had not posted the picture on the blog.  I still struggle to look at it without getting very teary-eyed, however, the comments generated on Pioneer Woman on the picture were extraordinary and brought Wendi and I great joy and sadness.  The picture is beautiful and says more than I could ever write...Thank you Jodi for taking it and we will cherish it forever...

Upcoming Events to Fight Cancer

Good morning everyone!  It's been a long time since the last post and I wanted to provide an update on events that are coming up this summer that we're participating in to continue the fight against cancer.  First, an update:

It's still hard to believe it's been almost 3 months since our precious Cash began his eternal journey in heaven.  Time keeps moving on and we continue to miss him tremendously and not a day goes by where we don't thank God for continuing to carry us through the next season.  Jack Jr. prays for Cash each night and thanks God that he's in heaven playing, but last week he said something that really struck Wendi and I.  We were coming back from church when he said, "Mom, it's been a long time since I've seen Cash and miss him."  It's almost like he knows where Cash is but doesn't realize that it's permanent - when he asks when he will see Cash again we always say, "When it's your turn to go to heaven."

We are continuing the fight against cancer by participating in two upcoming events.  Our hope is that you will continue to join us in the fight. The first event is the 2011 Relay for Life in Lynden.  Last year's relay was ocurring just as we were returning from Cash's proton treatment in Houston.  Here are pics from last year:

You can support the 2011 Relay for Life by donating or signing up by clicking here - http://main.acsevents.org/goto/.   The luminaria bags we are making this year are for Cash, Alyce Yonkman, and Christopher Hartley.  acashofhope

I will blog more about the next event in a few weeks, but we are once again participating in the Seattle Run of Hope to raise money for pediatric brain research.  Last year we had over 130 people walk with us in our fight and this year I'm hoping to have at least that many join us in honor of Cash.

Thank you for continuing to check up on the blog and we are thankful for your prayers, cards, and ongoing support.  May you have a blessed Easter weekend!

The Slideshow

I finally was able to load the slide show from Cash's memorial service up to youtube.com.  I'm sorry it took so long, the file is very large and without a solid internet connection it proved to be a challenge.  Anyhow, if you were unable to attend Cash's service, the slideshow is below (and available in HD on youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x0R6jnIU3E)



I still have difficulty watching it, however, I listen to the music from the slideshow almost every day.  The music was taken from Johnny Cash's 'My Mother's Hymnbook', which was released in 2004. The music was recorded when Johnny was late in his years and has a beautiful, somber tone, that draws me closer to God and at the same time reminds me of our son, who was named after Johnny Cash.  I think back to the service and probably could have watched it and listened to the music two or three more times.

Please forward this to anyone who wasn't at the service that may want to watch it - Cash was a beautiful little boy and we continue to be thankful he's with Jesus and cancer-free.

It's Chick Season

Last week "Uncle Frank" called me and asked if we'd like 11 baby chicks that were just born (with their mama, it was a package deal) - we had been talking about it for a few weeks and I learned at work that it's chick season so it was perfect.  We built a coop and he brought over the babies, their mama, and two other hens.  Jack has been busy checking on them every day and soon he'll learn how to feed and care for them.  In addition, once we finish the larger coop, he'll be responsible for collecting eggs every day.  He actually can't wait to collect the first egg and said he is ready to eat it!

Jodi came over this weekend and she took pictures of him with one of the babies...the pictures were great and I thought it appropriate to post a few...

We think often of Cash and it's difficult sometimes because Kingston looks so much like him - but God continues to give us grace and peace and Jack Jr speaks of Cash just like he is: Alive and in Heaven!  It's a tremendous blessing to know Cash is in heaven and he could very well be feeding baby chicks there - it is, of course, chick season...:-)

Thank you for your continued prayers - every day we receive cards in the mail and there are amazing words of encouragement that help us just at the right moment.

Re-Adjusting

It's been quite a while since I've blogged - there is such a large gap in our family without Cash that some days it still doesn't seem real.  We learned quickly after Cash was diagnosed to take it one day at a time and that still holds very true.  We are often asked how we are doing and my answer is always the same, God is continuing to keep us close to Him and give us the strength we need.

The past few months have brought so many changes - moving, new job, Cash's homegoing - there is a lot to adjust to.  That being said, we are thankful to God for taking Cash's diagnosis to bring us up to Lynden, the love and support we feel has been amazing.  Cash changed our lives in a big way...:-)

Wendi pulled out her camera this past weekend and took a few pictures of the boys - it's the first 'photoshoot' without Cash and it's fitting that Jack Jr is so serious.  Cash loved it when I played the guitar and I hope that Jack will pick up Cash's love of the guitar.  I think if he could play he'd play a great blues song...

We continue to receive cards, letters, and uplifting comments - Wendi and I are thankful for texts that I get nearly every day - just short check-ins to see how we are doing and scripture to remind us that God loves us.  God does love us and while we miss Cash we know he's cancer-free and in the arms of Jesus and that is a beautiful and wonderful gift.

A Year Ago Today

It was one year ago today that Wendi and I drove Cash to Children's for the first time.  I re-read the original post from that week (http://acashofhope.blogspot.com/2010/02/journey-of-hope-begins.html) and it brought back a flood of memories.  It is still do surreal that Cash is no longer with us - I distinctly remember being happy as we drove to Children's to get a prescription for physical therapy to fix his crooked neck (or so we thought).  When we look back on the past year, it's almost impossible to take it all in and absorb everything that Cash went through.  I have a feeling it will take many more months to fully realize how significant the past year was in helping shape and deepen our faith, trust, and love for God.

I Facebooked on January 11 (after the MRI) that, "...Cash would tell us not to be sad, but to rejoice and be thankful."  We miss Cash more than anything I could have imagined, but we don't miss cancer.  Since we were unable to separate Cash and Cancer, we rejoice that he's in heaven and free from cancer.  It's difficult to put into words and attach the appropriate emotion to the last sentence but we are thankful he is free from cancer and know we'll be reuinited again. 

Jack Jr. asks when he'll get to see Cash again and we tell him, "When it's your turn God will call you to heaven." He can't wait for his turn...:-)

Thank you all again for your cards, support, and prayers - each day I go pick up the mail and there's 25 more sympathy cards - I have to think we've received well over 500 cards the past two weeks.  Each card carries a unique message of encouragement and we are very thankful for the love and support you've shown us this past year.

Memorial Reflections/Downloads

The service on Thursday was a wonderful tribute to Cash.  It celebrated his life and at the same time pointed everything in the direction of our Father.  In our drive from the cemetery to the church, we both commented that we felt a tremendous peace.  I wasn't sure what I would feel after leaving the cemetery and was very thankful to God that we felt His peace.  We received so many cards, flowers, hugs, and words of encouragement it was amazing.  We are very blessed to have such a great family and network of friends.

Even though we have peace, there is a large hole in our family with Cash not being here. We miss him constantly and everything in our house reminds us of his beautiful life.  We ask Jack Jr. every morning what Cash is doing today in heaven and the responses have made us laugh and cry.  The past few days, according to Jack Jr.,  Cash has been salmon fishing, crabbing, shrimping, and surfing (he's been very busy). 

For those who were unable to attend the service, you can view the program that was made (thank you again Laura!) by clicking here (pdf file).  In addition, was able to upload the audio of the memorial service - you can listen to the entire service, sermon, and messages from Bro. Doug and Shauna Senti by clicking here.  Finally, Pastor's Robert's Prayer of Thanksgiving in honor of Cash's life is locate here.

As the days and weeks go by I will continue to blog - God continues to teach us so much about His purpose for our lives.  We continue to be thankful for your prayers - God is good and He received the glory on Thursday and we will continue to thank Him and give Him the praise, even though this has been a challenging season.  Have a blessed weekend!

A Web Obituary - Cash van Jameson Parriera

Written by Sarah Jio, format by Laura VanderHoek (Thank you!)

Service Information

Thank you for your prayers and beautiful comments the past few days.  They have been very encouraging and uplifting.  We have confirmed the date and time of the service for Cash so I wanted to pass that along.

Memorial Service for Cash van Jameson Parriera
Date: Thursday, February 3, 2011
Time: 1:00 p.m.
Location: Cornwall Church
(4518 Northwest Drive Bellingham, WA 98226)

A Final Healing

Cash left us and went to meet the Lord this afternoon at 3:50 pm. He was in Wendi's arms as he breathed his last and was immediately at peace.

I'm sure as time goes on I'll have more to say as we reflect on this past year. For the moment, I would simply say we are at peace and thankful Cash is in the arms of Jesus. We were granted the amazing privilege of being Cash's parents for the short time God allowed us to be with him on the earth. We are sad yet rejoice in the tremendous healing Cash has been given and we thank God for His grace, mercy, peace, and love.

We are surrounded by those who love us and words cannot express our gratitude for your prayers and support this past year.

Answering Prayers

This afternoon Cash took a significant turn for the worse. His breathing has become very labored and he is now unresponsive and sleeping. Our immediate families came over to visit an now we are waiting patiently for the Lord to welcome into His eternal kingdom.

We have prayed since Cash was diagnosed on February 8, 2010 that Cash would be healed of his cancer and we know from the Bible that God always hears and answers our prayers - He is answering our prayers and while we are sad, at the same time we are rejoicing in Cash's ultimate healing.

We are thankful to everyone for your prayers and support this past year - Wendi and I continue to learn about compassion, giving, and love from everyone who has been there for us. Please continue to pray for Cash and Jensen as they both are still fighting. God is merciful and loves all His children!

A Few Pics

Since the last update Cash has continued to remain about the same. He's sleeping pretty good at night and takes multiple naps during the day. His energy is nearly gone and he struggles to speak but still if you ask him a question, he'll weakly respond. We continue to be amazed at his resiliency and are thankful to God for each additional day.

Please pray for Jensen - he continues to struggle and is in a lot of pain. Wendi and I talk or text with Julie daily God continues to grant both our families tremendous grace and mercy.

Jodi took a few beautiful pictures yesterday that I had to share...thank you for your continued prayers - they are needed - Julie wrote this week that if you wake up in the middle of the night, say a little prayer that Jensen doesn't experience pain...I concur and it seems as if we are in prayer all night, even when we are sleeping.

Jesus Loves Me

A few months ago Aunt Betty asked if we knew the other verses to Jesus Loves Me - she mentioned it was written with a dying child in mind...I've been so busy that I hadn't had time to look it up and then this morning I saw the card she wrote us which included verses 2-4. I immediately stopped what I was doing and after reading it I had to share the verses.

V2:
Jesus love me! He who died,
Heaven's gate to open wide,
He will wash away my sin,
Let His little children come in.

V3:
Jesus loves me! Loves me still,
Tho' I'm very weak and ill,
From his shining throne on high,
Comes to watch ms where I lie.

V4:
Jesus loves me! He will stay,
Close beside me all the way,
If I love him till I die,
He will take me home on high.

I'm so thankful Jesus loves Cash! Thank you god for your amazing love and power and for sending Jesus to experience our pains and ultimately free us from this body when we meet you in heaven!

Weekend Update

Not much has changed this past week - there have been days when Cash sleeps a lot and others when he barely takes a nap...each day is different but his resolve to fight is still strong...here are a bunch of recent pics - thank you for continuing to pray!

One Pic

Thank you to everyone that continues to stop by, write notes, cook dinners, etc...it has been great this past week to see so many people, including my Auntie Ine and cousin Manuel (and his family) from California.

Jodi took a great picture of Cash today which sums up his favorite food...



Cash is still steady and while very tired, still manages to talk, eat, and watch the iPad...we thank God for each additional day with Cash.

Thank you for your prayers!

Pictures from the past week

Now that I can blog easily, here are a few pictures from the past two weeks...

Location:Birch Bay-Lynden Rd,Lynden,United States

Holding Strong

Cash seems to have slightly improved each day since Monday. He has been sleeping well and when he's awake he sits with us and reads books, watches his brother, and talks a bit. He's in great spirits and doesn't cry or complain about any pain.

We've had an amazing amount of support this week with visits, meals, grocery store runs, etc. Julie D even surprised us this morning with breakfast. For the most part, unless Cash is napping, he interacts with everyone and always says "bye bye" when they leave - every time he says it I get a tear in my eye (it's adorable).

He's hanging in there and continues to fight - I reinstalled a blog app on my phone so I can blog more frequently as time allows. Thank you for your cards, prayers, and comforting words - we appreciate it!!!

Post-MRI Update

First off, we want to thank everyone for your comments, emails, calls, meals, and visits.  They have been very encouraging and uplifting during this difficult time.  I don't think I could even count how many family members and friends that have stopped by - it has been so good for Cash to see so many kids playing on our playground and it encourages him to crawl around and play.

Cash's health seems to be declining rapidly - yesterday we were so worried about him that we had a nurse from hospice come out to visit.  They came out again today and have been very kind and helpful.  Basically they are available to us 24 hours a day if we need anything and will dispense medicine if needed.

To say we're taking it one day at a time would be an understatement.  Wendi should receive the mother-of-the-year award as she spends 24 hours a day with him, most of it spent sitting on the couch, reading books, cuddling, eating m&m's, napping, and keeping him occupied and content.  He is such a strong and sweet boy and has taught us so much in his few short years.  We are so thankful that he has not experienced any pain the past 11 months and he continues to flash his beautiful eyes at us and smile, acknowledging his love for us, and us for him. 

Pastor Robert and his wife (First CRC) stopped by on Sunday night and he said that we have been given a special grace, which he referred to as 'cancer grace'.  I know that must be true as both Wendi and I are at peace and feel great comfort in knowing that Jesus loves him and will welcome into His kingdom with open arms.  God has carried Cash and our family through this season and continues to give us the strength we need to endure each day.  We are blessed beyond measure and while we don't understand why, we are thankful to God for giving Cash to us, even if it is for a short time and it has been a privilege to be his parents.

We would ask that you continue to pray for Cash, that he is at peace and that God wrap His loving arms around him and whisper to him that it will all be ok.  I will post more if there are any changes and would encourage you continue to send us messages, emails, and calls, as they encourage us and give us strength through the power of the Holy Spirit.

A Most Difficult Day

Wendi took Cash this morning (with amazing help from Laura and Julie) to Children's for his 2 month MRI check up.  The last MRI left us feeling pretty good with how things were progressing but our expectations for the MRI's are always mixed.

The news from today's MRI is not good.  The main tumor has basically doubled in size and is protruding into other parts around the stem.  In addition, there are numerous spots on his lower spine.  The strangest part is that he still looks really good, with the exception of his right eye - over the past few days we've seen him struggle to open it fully and now that we've seen the scans we know why.  There is a lot of extra fluid that is not flowing to the appropriate parts of his brain, putting pressure on different areas, one being the optic nerves.

We have decided not to pursue any further treatment as the low-dose chemo seems to have lost it's ability to affect change (positively).  The hospital is connecting us with hospice care in the event that Cash will need assistance as the tumor continues to grow.  There are a few experimental treatments we can try but there is no guarantee that they will even help and will most likely make him sicker so we're opting not to investigate them any further.

I don't think the news could get any worse, and then Joanne gave me a verse that was on her heart this morning - Psalm 91:11 - "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways."  We are deeply saddened by the MRI results and at the same time at peace.  That peace we feel is from the Holy Spirit, which is referred to in the Bible as the Comforter (or Helper) (John16:7).  We are thankful to God for a great year with Cash and will continue to hold out hope.

The amazing thing is that Cash is amazingly strong.  Aside from being tired, with his hair growing back (and it's getting long) and talking/laughing/showing his teeth - you would not know he has a huge mass in is brain.  He is a fighter and he is as courageous as his good friend Christopher, who fought the same battle.

We continue to ask for your prayers during this extremely difficult time and pray that God will keep Cash close to Him and as free from pain as possible.  I think it would be too much to bear to see that little guy in pain and we're hoping his symptoms continue to stay relatively minor.  Thank you for your prayers - our prayers tonight are not only for Cash, but Jensen and Charlie Middlebrook.  Jensen's family received some difficult news this week and Charlie had a stroke a few days ago.  May God grant them peace, strength, and healing.

A Snapsister's Touch

The weather has been so beautiful the past few days that Wendi decided to take the boys outside for a photoshoot...Here are a few pictures that she took of the boys.

Cash, while still somewhat fatigued, has been improving the past few days.  His cough has diminished significantly and we still continue to hope the past few weeks can be attributed to croup.  This Friday Cash has another MRI which will give us a good indication whether or not the past few weeks are croup-related or tumor-related.  I will blog on Friday as soon as we receive the results.  God is good and knows what is best for each of us and we continue to put all of our trust in Him.